Maybe I’m just sleep deprived, maybe I had too high a nostalgic expectations, maybe I’m becoming a bitter old man, but this movie sucked. Like, a lot.
I’m not Macauley Caulken’s (or however you spell it, I can’t be bothered to look it up) biggest fan, but I liked him in Uncle Buck. He’s not the worst actor in history. But his character in Home Alone is an absolute asshole. Never once did I feel like he was a someone to pity, instead he comes off as a little jerk who always gets what he wants instead of actually being proactive. By the end of the movie he’s praised for going shopping, SHOPPING, as if he’s struck oil in the basement!
The bad guys too, are useless. For sneak thieves, they seem weirdly preoccupied by one particular street in suburban Chicago. They’re super conspicuous, driving around a panel van on one street for days. As soon as they see that the kid is home alone, they immediately try to kill him instead of actually stealing shit. They’re completely useless.
The parents are no better! They’re rude to people in airports around the world for no reason, and it would seems like they’ve never travelled before because it takes them FOUR DAYS to get from Paris to Chicago. FOUR! In this day and age, with jumbo jets and the Concord still in the air, you could get around the planet Earth multiple times in a single day if you’ve got a few grand to blow. It’s terrible.
The weird thing really is that I loved this movie as a kid. It’s disappointing to see that the nostalgia-goggles have worn off for this Christmas classic.